How to Write a Best Man Speech: A Simple Structure
Most best men put off writing the speech because they don’t know where to start. The good news: almost every great best man speech follows the same shape. Get the structure right and the jokes have somewhere to land.
How long should it be?
Aim for five to seven minutes. That’s roughly 700 to 900 words spoken at a relaxed pace. Under five minutes feels rushed; over ten and the room starts checking whether the bar is open. If you’re one of several speakers, err on the shorter side.
Read it out loud with a timer once you have a draft. Everyone underestimates how long their speech takes.
A structure that works
1. The opener (30 seconds)
Introduce yourself and how you know the groom. Get one easy laugh early to settle your nerves and the room’s. Self-deprecation works well here: you’re about to spend five minutes embarrassing someone else, so take a hit first.
2. Thank yous (30 seconds)
On behalf of the groom, thank the people he’d want thanked, usually the hosts, the bridesmaids and anyone who travelled a long way. Check with him beforehand so you don’t miss anyone or double up with his speech.
3. How you met the groom (1 minute)
Your first memory of him. This is where the story of your friendship starts, and where the first proper anecdote usually lives.
4. Two or three stories (3 minutes)
The heart of the speech. Pick stories that show who he is: loyal, hopeless with directions, incapable of packing for a holiday. Each one should have a clear setup and a punchline. Three is plenty. If a story needs a lot of explaining, cut it.
This is where photos earn their place. A story about his questionable fashion phase lands harder when the whole room can see the proof. Our guide to using embarrassing photos in a best man speech covers how to find them and show them.
5. The turn (1 minute)
Change gear. Talk about how he changed when he met his partner, and say something genuine about them as a couple. The contrast with the stories is what makes this bit work, and it’s the part the families remember.
6. The toast (15 seconds)
Ask everyone to stand, raise their glasses and toast the couple. Keep it short and say their names clearly.
Where the jokes go
- Early. One laugh in the first minute relaxes everyone, including you.
- In the stories, not as standalone one-liners. Jokes copied from the internet are obvious; jokes about real things he did are not.
- Never in the turn or the toast. Let the sincere part be sincere.
What to leave out
- Exes, unless the couple would genuinely laugh about it
- Anything from the stag do that needs the phrase “what happens on tour”
- In-jokes only three people at the wedding will understand
- Anything that would upset the grandparents
If you’re not sure about a line, try it on someone close to the couple. If they wince, cut it.
Writing tips
- Write how you talk. Read each sentence out loud. If you wouldn’t say it in the pub, rewrite it.
- Short sentences. They’re easier to deliver and easier to time.
- Name places and years. “Magaluf, 2015” is funnier than “a holiday a few years ago”.
- Finish early. Have it written a week before, then leave it alone for a couple of days and cut 10%.
Delivering it
- Use cue cards, not your phone. Number them. Write big.
- Practise five times out loud, at least once in front of someone.
- Slow down. Nerves speed you up; wait for laughs to finish before carrying on.
- One drink, not four. A drink steadies the hands. Four makes the speech twice as long.
- Look up at the end of every story. The reaction is half the fun.
Checklist
- Ask the groom who needs thanking.
- Collect stories (and photos) from family and old friends.
- Write a draft using the structure above.
- Time it out loud: five to seven minutes.
- Cut anything that needs explaining or might upset someone.
- Practise five times, then put it on cue cards.
- Raise a glass and enjoy it.
Want the room laughing along on their phones? See how PhotoLeak works for a best man speech.